My Blog

Pink ice cream
Is all it takes
For me to see:
What I really mean
To my dear old friend.
And blue cotton candy,
Is all it takes
For me to know,
That when I’m down,
Someone is there
To erase my frown.

Read the whole story at www.jokojun.com

I love wearing a mask
For it conceals bruises, cuts and wounds,
Hides frowns, tears and squirms.
Buries hatred and anger,
Prevents treachery and danger.

I love wearing a mask
For it keeps me away from pain
And shields me from disdain,
Loneliness and sorrow I can easily contain.

I love wearing a mask
For it shows I’m laughing
When deep inside I’m weeping.
I can even appear to be crying even when I’m happy,
If to grieve with the world, is what a friend needs from me.
I can even stay away from betrayal,
And can keep close to my heart those who are special.

I love wearing a mask
For I’d rather break my heart
Than make the ones I love depart.
I’m anyway numb from all the heartaches,
So I can endure despair for my loved ones’ sake.
As long as I have the people who truly care,
Whatever amount of anguish, I can surely bear.

I never liked putting a mask,
But I have to do this so that I can bask.
No questions that cause tension,
No arguments that cause friction.

I am thankful I can access this blog once again. It’s been
eons before I could start blogging here. That’s why you’ll see a wide gap
between my blog dates.

I like it when my friends react on my blogs. I didn’t know
they find me too soft and sweet for my blogs. Some of my blogs here are not so
“very me” as they put it.

Well, my dearest ones, I am a true blue Piscean, I guess.
Keep that in mind. Extremely extreme. I am an embodiment of all ironies in life
and you will see that in my blogs. My childhood friends told me that there is
only one predictable trait that I have and that is, UNPREDICTABILITY.

By the way, I got rid of my cutie journals and
feather-capped pens. I believe, technological advancement should be utilized to
its full capacity. The way I see it, blogs are the high-tech version of
journals.

Why would I post my journal for all to see? I believe
whatever crap I write here will touch someone’s life. Some will think that no
matter how heavy their burden is, mine is heavier. This for sure will give them
a sort of relief. Some can resonate in what I’m saying and will feel better
that someone, somewhere is going through the same ordeals as she/he is going
through. Whatever it is that I write here, no matter how selfish, self-centered
and irrelevant it may seem I believe that somehow it will have some resonance
to at least one person. Even if it’s only one reader, that’s good enough for
me.

This is just a beginning.

"When I am continuously being battered by the storms of life, and my very spirit is ebbing away, then all I need to do is hang onto that gift called ‘Faith’, that one support which will weather the storms. Faith does not depend on a clever head, only belief: belief in the self and the strength that lies within. Faith is the seed of victory and the foundation of making the impossible possible." - www.innerspace.org.uk

In my life, I created an imaginary island where my family, my special friends and the people I love and care about dwell. In this island, the dwellers have privileges that others don’t have: extraordinary treatment that they could never find anywhere else.

Lucky you, you managed to squeeze yourself in this island. I welcomed you whole heartedly because you are special, we are symmetrical – an exact piece of me that chipped off during the Big Bang. I did things I’ve never done before, just to make you feel you are indeed special…gestures I make to each one who belongs in my

Treasure Island

.

Unfortunately, you never learned to appreciate what I did. You were not even thankful. The absurd thing was you misinterpreted the things that I’ve said and done, and even put outrageous  meanings that hurt me a lot…and everytime you do it, you push yourself to the brink of my island.

I can only do so much. I believe I have done enough. I’ve got nothing left to prove and to show for I was open, honest and true all the time.

Now, don’t push yourself out of this island. I don’t wanna lose you. Since you are the one who managed to push yourself to the edge, no one can pull you in but yourself.

You don’t want to cut your privileges, do you? I risked everything for my friends, suffered for those I loved…all these I do for the dwellers of my

Treasure Island

.

The world out there is full of sharks, not to mention the deep blue sea…unless a pirate’s ship will pass by… which is another story.

The first and the last time I met her was when she was still a baby who couldn’t sleep without her cute little pillow with a smell that no one could stand but her….and mind you, she couldn’t sleep without it. ( I guess…I’m giving you away here, girl.). The next time I had a glimpse of what’s in her heart and head was now, right this very hour…through Friendster!

Now, why am I talking about her? Well…she’s all grown up now and I couldn’t help but feel proud of her. I liked her blogs so much. To the point of snatching a line from there and use it here on mine. If this is plagiarism, I feel proud to plagiarize my niece’s writing. After all, despite the fact that I hate plagiarism, I secretly believe that when your works are copied, it means they are very, very special and that you came up with a certain idea in a perfect way that no one can ever put it any better.

I know the line is similar to a quote from Jean Anouilh, a French Dramatist, but it’s the way that Sherry Lynn has put it that struck a string in my heart.

“I will continue to love as many for love has only one arch enemy and that is life’s hourglass.” – Sherry Lynn Lluisma

Her fingers kept on brushing through the long strands of my hair… “Life can be tough sometimes… I understand what you are going through, but you’ll get over it and say: this too, shall pass.” Sweetly, she uttered those comforting words as my tears kept pouring like heavy rains in June. That was my first heartbreak. I had several relationships, but I think, I fell in love only once. He was simple, kind and loving. I gave up so many dreams just to be with him. Ours started as casual that bloomed to a serious informal engagement but unfortunately broken by culture and tradition. We both tried our best to hold on, but fate did not permit. We have to let go. Devastated, the first action I did was to hide in my shell. I didn’t want to see anybody and I didn’t want them to see me, either. Like a turtle, I hid and found solace in the warmth of my carapace. It was 2 a.m. I entered my bedroom, kept the lights off, guided to my bed by the twinkling Christmas lights of my neighbors. My water bed, which normally gives me comfort and coolness, had lost its splendor. I was sweating profusely… even the air conditioner did not help at all. I tried closing my eyes to get some sleep, but my mind was awake. My heart wanted to explode… thoughts, memories flooded my mind! I stood up, rushed out of my apartment and ran a few miles… The doorstep still looked the same as when I was a young woman playing with our dog, Babu. Three pairs of slippers neatly arranged at the left side of the doormat with the faded word “Welcome.” Oh! Welcome, for the first time, I felt the real meaning of that word. I rang the bell… once, twice, it’s 3:30am. I kept on trying. Finally, she opened the door. A surprised look in her face greeted me and without saying a word she gave me the most comforting hug I have ever received from her. Tears kept on streaming down my face as she walked me to her bedroom. She gave me my two favorite pillows and started rubbing my back. Those gentle caresses choke off the pain stuck in my throat and I let out a sob. The sobbing just went on and on… until it turned to a loud cry. Worried but calm, she sat on the bed, gently lifted my head, put it on her lap and started brushing her fingers through my long tresses. That was a long time ago, but her words still reverberate in my mind: “This too, shall pass.” It did. Now, I feel luckier, happier and blessed as I see a clearer, brighter and better future ahead of me. Now, I am ready to fall in love again. Empowered and strengthened by her undying love, I have the courage to fall in love over and again. Thanks Mom, for your unparalleled love.

And yes, Ling-ling, I too will continue to love as many for love has only one arch enemy and that is life’s hourglass…

Life can be tough sometimes, we go through a lot of trials and challenges that make us bitter and prompt us to shut our door to the world. Paul Simon’s I Am A Rock, is a song widely believed to bespeak bitterness, pain and isolation.

Contrary to the popular belief, though, I look at the lyrics of the song as the best survival mantra. Each stanza tells us about the shield that we should put around us, not to push away the world but to contain our wholeness, keeping in mind all the possibilities in every relationship.

Looking at the pain caused by friendship and the crying caused by love, I believe that it is only our wholeness that can help us withstand the pain and the crying at the same time prevent us to inflict them to others. A sense of wholeness that turns us into a rock that shields and an island that shelters.

Read on, move on, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL…

A winters day
In a deep and dark december;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I’ve built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

When you’re weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I’m on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you’re down and out
When you’re on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I’ll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

March – a special month for women just passed. Did we women ever spend a day pondering on our womanhood and our essential role in society? How we complement men to make this world a perfect place to live in? And that if we falter and fail, everything will also falter and fail?

The women’s month is celebrated to highlight the importance of women in society. To make men realize that the world will never function normally if women’s role is undermined and given less importance. Women on the other hand, should have a full realization of their role and its significance for this is the only way that humanity can truly live in peace and harmony.

Women’s role is to complement men’s. Like the Yin and Yang they co-exist. One should acknowledge the fact that survival depends on the existence of the other. It does not matter who is Yin, who is Yang… who is stronger, who is weaker… who should do this, who should do that…What matters most is that each one tries to fulfill what the other one cannot…

Fill the vacuum left by the other’s imperfection…but we can only fill it only when we feel COMPLETE.

How can we be complete? Pamela Redmond Satran, a writer, journalist and columnist, said it all:

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own,

even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….

something perfect to wear if the employer,

or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a youth she’s content to leave behind….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to

retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …..

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….

one friend who always makes her laugh…

and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,

and a recipe for a meal,

that will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a feeling of control over her destiny…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

how to quit a job,

break up with a lover,

and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.. .

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

when to try harder…

and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

that she can’t change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

that her childhood may not have been perfect…

but it’s over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

how to live alone…

even if she doesn’t like it…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .

whom she can trust,

whom she can’t,

and why she shouldn’t take it personally.. .

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

where to go…

be it to her best friend’s kitchen table..

or a charming Inn in the woods…

when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

What she can and can’t accomplish in a day…

a month…and a year…

Celebrate the woman in you…everyday, every minute.

Writing gives me a taste of freedom,

Like a bird released

My thoughts, ideas and feelings

Soar and dive,

Fly spontaneously

Toward infinity

Unyielding until eternity.

It pleases my wanting heart,

Calms my frantic desires,

Soothes my restless soul,

Cures my wounded self,

Relieves my aching bones,

Smoothes my ruffled feathers,

Making me SPARKLE once again.

It guides me when I’m lost,

Pulls me up when I’m down,

Gives me strength and endurance to

Move on, go on…

It sustains life,

Maintains rectitude,

Beautifies the unappealing,

Brightens the lackluster.

It gives permanence to impermanence,

For it etches life on paper,

Like a painting on a canvass

A captured moment meant to last.